I have come to realize I am obsessed
Yes I said obsessed, not possessed. I have always had an obsession problem. I would get on a kick and every spare penny I could come up with would go on whatever I was obsessed with at the time. Like so many people I’d get depressed I’d buy something, I’d have a windfall I’d celebrate and buy something, I always had an excuse to add to my stash. The look of despair on my husband’s face as I’d lug in bag/cage after bag/cage of whatever the latest obsession was would be horrible. But I was driven.
Craft supplies, food storage, material, yarn, genealogy, poultry of all types along with all the equipment needed to breed and raise them, all have been past obsessions of mine. I have spent hundreds of dollars on each one of those, thousands on some. To some extent I still am slightly obsessed with a couple of them (food storage and genealogy), but nothing like I have been in the past. In the past I would spend hours looking for “deals” on whatever the current obsession was. Then I’d tell myself that since I was buying the items on sale I was “saving” money. Now I only search for things I truly need and only buy those when they are truly on sale. In fact I’ve not spent a dime on genealogy in about five years. Food storage has been close to 10 months, and then it was on a 20% off sale for only things we would normally use and were completely out of.
Soon I’d have more fabric, patterns, yarn etc than I could ever use up in five lifetimes and slowly I’d become overwhelmed with having so much and my enthusiasm would slowly fade. The end result would be a cache of the item that would impress any “collector”, a more cluttered home, a deeper debt, and far less money in our budget. The only good thing I could say was I did have it all organized and would be willing to part with it whenever I got the opportunity, so I didn’t qualify as a hoarder.
It’s been quite awhile since I’ve had such an obsession, or so I thought. Then today when I caught myself obsessing over the fact that it would only take $31.67 to drop a month off the number of months until my little BOA account payoff. Not pay the bill off, but to merely drop one month off of that date. Changing the scheduled payoff date to September 15, 2016 instead of October 15, 2016.
I was seriously combing every expenditure left out of this pay period looking to see if I could possibly come up with that $31.67 TODAY! I was a little down emotionally and I needed a feel good fix. I wanted that money to appear in the budget somewhere, anywhere. I needed a sale, I needed to pay that $31.67 NOW! I was truly chomping at the bit to do it. And of course I found $35 in a budget tweak and I paid it. Then I started immediately looking at how much I’d need for another month drop on any of the bills. Again, not the entire pay off (that number is far too large), but just cut a month off of ANY of the bills with the trickle down effect from paying extra on that BOA account. That’s when I realized. I’M OBSESSED!!!
We are so close I can taste it, which sounds dumb considering how close we’ve been running on the budget since the first of the year. 18-24 months, I want it and I want it now! Talk about a spoiled brat attitude. LOL!
So I’m here to say I am a debt payoff-aholic.
This obsession will end differently, however. Instead of extra junk in my house I am selling items off to feed this obsession. Instead of going in debt further I am obsessed with getting rid of debt faster and faster. Instead of ending up with less cash in my pocket I will end up with more. Instead of seeing despair on dh’s face I see instead the joy when I give him the good financial news. Each little achievement puts him that much more closer to the retirement he wants so badly.
It is also not an obsession I’ll get tired of. It is not an obsession that will end badly.
So now I ask, are you obsessed too?